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| In Memory of Miss Cookie Miyuki | |||
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 10/17/87 - 10/22/03 about losing miss cookie home archives contact us
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Tuesday, October 28, 2003 It's funny, I think about how much Cookie means to me still and how I never would have thought I could love a dog that much. Even when I still had her, I knew I would be distraught if she died, but I never thought I could feel this way. And it's weird...in one way, when people ask me how I'm doing, and I say "ok" I know I don't really mean it, but when it comes out of my mouth, I do mean it. In one way, I don't know if I still haven't fully accepted Cookie being gone or if I really have. I come home and think she's just sleeping. But I come home and my apartment feels so empty and lonely I have to pretend she is here so I don't freak out on myself. Once, when I was picking Cookie up at the groomers, a woman commented how young Cookie looked until I informed her that Cookie was 14, definitely no spring chicken. She told me she once had a Shih Tzu and when it died, she was so distraught, it took her twenty years before she could get another dog. I have thought about her comment a lot, especially recently. At the time, I thought the woman was nuts. Yes, I understand a mourning period, but twenty years? Now though, I get it. I don't think I could ever get another Shih Tzu...well, maybe in twenty years. I always said that because Cookie is/was so cute, no other dog could EVER measure up. In a way, it reminds me of someone who re-marries after the spouse dies. One has such love for another, but their lives must go on. How though can they love someone else when they never chose to split from their mate? Will I be able to get another dog? I think so. Will I love it like I loved Cookie? Honestly and truly, I don't think I could. What bothers me the most is that when I think about Cookie, though it's only been a week, I feel like I am forgetting. Today for example, I tried not to think about her then I got sad. Sitting here, looking at her pictures, I try to remember what it felt like to hold and play with her and the more I think about it, the less I remember. If I don't remember I get sad, if I do remember, I get sad. Then I get annoyed that everybody else doesn't think about her. Why should they? She's not their dog. But it's like, how can everyone else go on about their lives when she's not here. Then I think about the lyric from "I Don't Know How to Say Good-bye:" The world moves on With no regret And though you're gone There are feelings I'll never forget So I remember you And though I try I don't know how to say good-bye posted by lisa | linkorama | |
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