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| In Memory of Miss Cookie Miyuki | |||
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 10/17/87 - 10/22/03 about losing miss cookie home archives contact us
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Wednesday, October 29, 2003 It's hard for me to believe that Cookie has been gone for a week now. Today, I picked up her ashes from Dr. V's office. I ended up going to pick her up by myself because I found out the office closed earlier than I thought and nobody could get off of work. This ended up working out better because I think I needed to do it alone. It was weird going back to the place where I left her just one week ago. I ended up picking her up at about the exact same time we let her go last week...it was a weird feeling but strangely enough, it was oddly comforting too. I kept thinking about Cookie all day long. I rembered where I was at each hour, how I was feeling...and what time I called my parents to come to Dr. V's office to say a final good-bye. For some reason though, knowing that I would get to bring Cookie home today, made me feel "happy" oddly enough. Not "happy" in the traditional sense of the word, but I was glad that I would get to have her with me again. I mean, it's really hard to accept that Cookie's ashes are in a small box, but at the same time, I get to have her back. I still come home everyday and expect to see her sleeping on her bone shaped leopard print pillow or near the window sun bathing. I'm not used to the empty feeling in my apartment or in my heart when I am reminded that I no longer have her around. Today, is the first day I didn't cry when I got home and thought of Cookie...and it bothers me. I felt sad and "blah" all day, but I tried to hide it from everyone. I have great friends and a ton of people I am close to, but for some reason, I just didn't want to talk about it. I still don't ever really want to be ok about losing Cookie. I know I will be ok...but for someone who gave me such joy, comfort and unconditional love...I shouldn't even be close to feeling "ok" yet. posted by lisa | linkorama | |
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