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| In Memory of Miss Cookie Miyuki | |||
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 10/17/87 - 10/22/03 about losing miss cookie home archives contact us
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Sunday, October 26, 2003 When you lose someone you love, you are often told that time will only make it easier. What if you don't want it to be easier? When you no longer feel the pain of their loss this means you are healing. I don't want to heal. I want to miss my dog everyday. I want to imagine her sleeping in her bed or coming to me at every rustle of a plastic bag. In a way, I don't want to be ok. And when I start to feel ok, it bothers me. How often I think of my dog is up to me of course. I know I won't forget. When I was six, I experienced death for the first time when my grandfather passed on Christmas Eve. I don't remember anything about my life at that time really, other than being told he passed and what that felt like. At eleven, I experienced the first devistating loss of my life. I was now old enough to really understand the finality of death when Papo (my maternal grandfather) passed. And at twenty, we lost Mamo (my maternal grandmother). After my parents, she meant everything to me. I loved her more than anyone. When she died, I experienced true heartache for the first time in my life. I never knew my heart would actually ache, but it sure did. I am glad I haven't forgotten any of them. I think of grandpa at least once a day, I think of Papo several times a day and I don't think I've ever stopped thinking of Mamo. So I know I won't forget Cookie, but in a way, I don't want to stop hurting. Am I crazy? When a person dies, people send their sympathies and people mourn your loss. When a pet dies, people send their sympathies and mourn your loss, but it's different because it's a pet. The loss of a pet to me, is no different than the loss of a human. A loss is a loss, and your heart breaks just the same. Yet, sometimes I think there is almost a sense of shame associated with mourning a pet, but there shouldn't be. A friend of mine e-mailed me the following and how right I think he is: I don't think there is anything more pure and real than the love and devotion of a dog. All he asks, is a little love, a kind word, a gentle pat, a bit to eat and in return he gives you his complete unconditional love and loyalty. I used to tell Cookie that I loved her more than the whole world. And now that she's gone, so is my world. posted by lisa | linkorama | |
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