In Memory of Miss Cookie Miyuki | |||
10/17/87 - 10/22/03 about losing miss cookie home archives contact us
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Tuesday, January 13, 2004 I take comfort in knowing that Cookie lived here as evidenced by the food bowl that sits with uneaten food near the kitchen and her once slept in bed and blankets in my bedroom. Honestly, I'm not ready to remove any of her belongings. Seeing them there everyday helps to make the feeling of loss a little bit less acute. I've accepted that Cookie is gone and that she is not physically here anymore. But I cannot possibly remove evidence that she ever was here. Nobody knows how much I miss her -- I think about her everyday and I really don't like being home alone becuase she's not here. It feels like I was forced to let her go so quickly. For some reason, I always thought that I would be forced to deal with Cookie suffering through a long illness before losing her. My biggest fear was that I would come home one day from work (or from play) and find her limp in my apartment. Fearing that she would ever have to die alone just killed me. Which is why everytime I would leave home for work, to run errands, anything, I would tell her I loved her and kiss her little head. I wanted my voice and my face to be the last thing she saw until the next time she would see or hear me. I'm lucky though that I got to be with her until she breathed her last breath and she felt the warmth of my love surrounding her until the final moment of her life. posted by lisa | linkorama | |
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