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| In Memory of Miss Cookie Miyuki | |||
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 10/17/87 - 10/22/03 about losing miss cookie home archives contact us
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Monday, March 22, 2004 Sometimes I wonder if Cookie defined my happiness. It's rather silly actually, but then...I think maybe not. I have friends and family, but really nobody can be what you want when you want them to be at all times. But a pet really does not err, not as humans do. Not only do they give unconditional love, but they never disappoint. Maybe I counted on that so deeply because I've felt that level of disappointment from everyone in my life (at some point or another, which is completely natural, not to say that I expected perfection, life happens, I know that). I did always count on Cookie to be there for me whenever I needed her. As I mentioned several times before in this blog, she never once disappointed me. By not being there everyday for her due to work or life...was I disapointing her? She slept on the floor near the patio door in her last week...was it because she liked the sunlight or was it more? At my parents' house, she slept near the window becuase she watched us leave each time we went to lunch or ran errands, just waiting for us to return. Was Cookie waiting for my return at my apartment? Was she waiting to be with me, knowing that she didn't have much time left? Maybe I give her too much credit. While she probably didn't intellectualize those feelings, maybe she felt them intuitively. I'm old enough to know that Cookie's death was just a part of life, but still, I don't know how to deal with the loss. She was the one being that I counted on, maybe for my happiness. Maybe because I knew I could count on her to take away any pain or sadness. Just by the sight of her, things were made right in my life. Without her, I almost feel more alone than I ever have in my entire life. I feel guilty saying that losing Cookie was more painful than losing Mamo or Papo, but in a way it's true. A friend told me that it could be becuase a pet is there in your life everyday while a grandparent isn't. Though you love your grandparents or family members, it is the pet who gives constant unconditional love every moment of everyday they are in your life. When that is gone, the void is greater than you might expect becuase of what they meant in your life. Today, I just realized is the 5 month anniversary of her passing. posted by lisa | linkorama | |
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