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| In Memory of Miss Cookie Miyuki | |||
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 10/17/87 - 10/22/03 about losing miss cookie home archives contact us
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Wednesday, September 22, 2004 Nearly one year ago today, Cookie and I moved into what would be the final homespace we would share together. Everytime I think about it, I get a well of emotions. We spent only one month in that place together and yet it seems much longer. In 30 days, I built up many incredible memories of the one being that brought such love and happiness to my life. I fear each day that grows closer to that fateful day when my beloved dog passed away because it is hard for me to believe that she will have been gone for a whole year. I've been watching a lot/too much of 'Starting Over' and in-so-doing, trying to come up with what has caused me to become so emotionally devoid. Cookie and Mamo are the two most devistating losses in my life that I haven't been able to let go of. Holding onto these people and losses I believe, is keeping me from moving on in almost all apsects of my life. However, letting go isn't something I am capable of doing at this point. I believe, my dog and my grandmother represent such selfless and unconditional love that have since left my life. I'm not sure how to move past it and I don't even know if I want to. I'm not sure what I'm getting at right now, but I do know that as October 22, 2004 approaches, I will have to gather myself and hope that I will be ok. I still miss you Miss Cookie...and I honestly don't know if I will ever really get over your loss. But you know what? To me, there is no shame in feeling this way...and I am forever blessed/grateful that I had you in my life for as long as I did. posted by lisa | linkorama | | Tuesday, September 14, 2004 Today, as I was watching my new favorite tv show, Starting Over, one of the tasks Jennifer had to do was to think of what the word home meant to her in an attempt to feel safe and loved. She later commented that she once thought home was a place, but it's not a physical place, but more an emotional safe heaven. When I think of home I think of the people who I feel/felt most loved around...Mamo, Papo, my parents and Cookie...and I immediately am reminded of what made me feel most loved and secure. I wish more people had an opportunity to live the childhood I did...it's the one point in my life I am most sure of and cherish. posted by lisa | linkorama | | Tuesday, September 07, 2004 I am realizing just how much time has passed since Cookie's passing. It was one thing to loose her and dealing with not having her in my life for the past 11 months. However, as the 1 year mark approaches, the actual realization that 12 whole months would have gone by without having her...I don't know how to take it. Cookie was the best thing to happen to me from the moment she became a member of my family. I looked at her and knew that as along as she was around, I would be ok. In the 7 years I had her, I suffered a lot of heartache and loss and having Cookie in my life, made all of that bearable. Sometimes, I look at my friends with their pets and am so envious of the relationship they have that I no longer have. I see the outpouring of love to their pets that for me, has nowhere to go. I hear stories that make me laugh and even warm my heart, but at the same time, sadden me because at one time, I had similar stories about Cookie. There will never be a dog as loved or as special as Cookie was to me. I fully admit that she will sit upon that golden pedestal and that any other pet will pale in comparison. I haven't been as diligent as I wanted to be in journaling this last year. Somedays, it was too hard to do, others, I felt I was being too repetitive. I miss Cookie everday of my life. Sometimes, I am really lonely because she's not around anymore, other days I can be happy knowing we so affected each other's lives and how much better we are for it. posted by lisa | linkorama | | |
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